We easily convince ourselves our perspective is RIGHT. Shit, it often is. But does that always feel good? Does our point of view truly give us what we need?
When we create an evaluative process around perspectives and interpretations, we take the pressure off ourselves to figure it all out. We apply our very simple system and in minutes we can make an objective and empowering choice for effective action.
Sounds easy? Try it with That Person, you know the one - the button pusher, the constant stressor, The Person who always … <eye roll>.
Here’s the thing, objectivity is easy when you give yourself Three Perspective Shifts. What if the opposite is more true? What if it’s even worse than you imagine? What if it’s somewhere in between the 180-degree shift or the worst?
The Asshole At Work
This may be a co-worker / supervisor / employee, this may be the UPS guy who really resents the 2 story climb to your work dojo, or maybe it's the checkout person at Office Works who uses their power to rain fire and brimstone on your shopping experience. This person is miserable and loves company.
Opposite: This individual was destroyed/devastated/demolished the moment before you just so happened to cross their path (or every day up until they saw you).
Worst Case Scenario: This person has it out for you - you are their kryptonite, their arch nemesis, the shadow to their light.
The In-Between: This person is simply giving themselves what they need, in this moment and it's unfortunate it's not what you need, but it's nothing personal.
Choice: Give yourself what you need, whether that is to take control and assert your power, or be gracious and respect this person’s needs as much as your own. You can choose to live your life, and let others have their own experience without making their's your own. You can even kill 'em with kindness.
This human being lied. They are purposefully deceiving you, you can only assume why, but even worse, they’re assuming you don’t know, and they’re going to get away with it.
Opposite: They’re trying to surprise you. Yes, they lied, but they’re doing this for you, not to you.
Worst Case Scenario: They think they’re smarter than you. They’re taking advantage of you. They’re going to do this over and over again.
In-between: This person wants to protect you. Morally speaking, this is not an issue, it’s just not worth the potential struggle and they made that call for you.
Choice: Based on your history and experience with this person, you can trust them to make a positive and helpful choice for you - give your permission. Or you can choose to trust them to be strong enough to endure the brutal honesty you prefer and ask for the Truth. Or you walk away, value your honesty and integrity, and let them go.
This time, it must be personal. You are so crushed by this person’s decision, you almost can’t believe it. The reality is so far from your expectation you are not sure how to move forward.
Opposite: They simply did exactly what they needed to do, and unfortunately that was in direct conflict with what you needed.
Worst Case Scenario: With zero thought or consideration, this machiavellian operator cut you down and threw you out.
In-Between: Maybe your expectations were maligned, maybe they were never shared or valued, or the discrepancy between what happened and what could have been is a misunderstanding worth exploring.
Choice: Disappointment comes from the gap between what we want and what is - how can you close that gap? If you depended on another person to do so, using clear communication, inviting the recipient of the message to explain what they understood, and trying a different way of sharing what you want might just close that gap.
I don’t need to tell you - the enlightened reader of my elevated ramblings - you create your world, but you can’t control the people in it #amiright. Even if we’re self-employed, even if we’re the designers of our own destiny, even if we’ve reached the echelons of creative expression and financial freedom, we still share this physical plane of existence WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
I offer you 3 powerful perspective shifts ~ The Opposite, The Worst Case Scenario, and The In-Between, because I believe in you. Don't allow That Person to engage a hostile take-over. Strategize your next move, because when you play by your own rules, you always win.