Responsible

Being responsible. Owning responsibility. Yours. Mine. Shared. This word is as heavy as it’s expectations. Perhaps it’s an older child thing, one raised by people who believe work defines you, who was fully grown at ten years old. Responsibility has always been part of my nature. I had a growing babysitting gig, and asked for my first $1 raise (rounding it out to $5 an hour) babysitting the neighborhood kids by 11. I was precocious AF. I simply knew everything. I didn’t bother asking questions. I made statements of fact. And I took responsibility. Literally, I TOOK it. I preferred it done my way. I assumed no one was capable of stepping up to the plate (I never gave them the chance). I dragged this expectation well into my adult life. This perspective works great at work. It makes for amazing hostessing, organizing, homemaking, nurturing, even partnership. Sort of. Truth be told, all we can be responsible for is our choices. In a world of constant change, even expectations on tasks and deliverables should be addressed regularly. Assuming just because things got done a certain way last week, does not mean that is exactly how they will be completed this week. Responsibility can become a sore spot when someone takes what is not theirs. Oftentimes people who identify as responsible are also the problem solvers, the fixers, the martyrs, and they pride themselves on their solutions until they are not appreciated or valued, and then they retreat to a bitter, resentful, exhausted cave. Only to emerge and do it all over again. What if we could let go of expectation and take responsibility for the moment? I will be responsible for my own thoughts and feelings. I am responsible to act in accordance to my highest good. I am not responsible for your feelings.I am not responsible for the solution let alone this problem. How might our perception of this word shift?

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